Well, there is no looking back now. I’ve hit a metaphorical wall recently. My health isn’t the best, my weight has been stagnant, and if there was an award for ‘most lazy unmotivated creature‘, I would have a good chance knocking out the competition for a win.
For months, deep down I knew what I needed to do. I needed to plan, get motivated, learn ALL the knowledge… But wait there was self-sabotaging me pulling into Starbucks ordering the sugariest beverage. “It’s okay, I got it with soy milk, that should count, right?” This has literally been my life for the past 4-5 years. Hey, I’m working on one thing, I get a pass on everything else because this one thing outweighs all that bad. I know this sounds crazy, but that was literally how my brain rationalized everything and I didn’t realize how stupid it was until I started saying this stuff out loud.
I always felt I was destined for greatness. Such greatness, that I was operating at 30% capacity for years. Thinking that was my full potential and the life I deserved to live. Up until I took a hard look at myself… I’m a 27-year-old who is:
- hobbies are YouTube, sleeping, YouTube, and loving on my cats and dog
- Rarely ventures out of house except to eat and do the 9-to-5
- Is afraid to take risks
- Doesn’t act on awesome ideas because I “will not do them justice” (perfectionist me speaking)
- Growing list of digestive issues
- Did I mention cats as a hobby?
This list could go on and on, but, to spare you more of the sad creature I’ve become, I will move on.
Aren’t you proud? I actually have a plan! Long story short, I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching through books, meditation, and more the past month. I did one exercise where I wrote a list like above and then wrote a list of who I see myself as. SURPRISE! These lists did not align and that totally bummed me out. So much, that I wanted to change, I NEEDED to change.
I drew up a plan to remedy my situation and propel me into operating at 100% and embodying the person I see myself being. To be honest, I have no idea if this plan is going to work, but I must believe it will work and be open to changes and obstacles. My plan will focus on these areas…
- Loving Myself
- Healthy Living
- Following Passions
- Finding Faith that the Universe has My Back
- Recommitting to Minimalism
I really narrowed these five points down because each of these are the backbone of why I am the way I am. I know I have made attempt after attempt to relaunch this blog. But the wait is done. It’s here baby, and it ain’t stopping.
P.S. The next post is about Healthy Living and may include a little something about the Whole 30.